Genre: Fiction/Contemporary Romance/Chick Lit Publication Date: OCT 2018 Date Finished: 14 FEB 2019
Let’s meet Valeria Ivanov, or we can call her VAL for short. She’s half-Russian and half-cray about Matt – the gorgeous guy that she met & kissed in the elevator (seriously, I’m telling you! what’s up with elevator hotties!?!) who turned out to be her neighbour.
Over the years, they became friends and she was promoted to BFF but also, he’s the Love of Her Life a.k.a Ang Lalaking Magiging Tatay ng Lahat ng Magiging Anak Niya. Thing is, Val is head over heels to this guy but Matt is CLUELESS. That or sadyang tanga lang siya. He is dense at dead-on stupid.
PAASA, PA-YUMMY AT PA-FALL
Over the past 3 years, she tried telling him naman, but something will always come up between them so Val fails to ask the real score. At times, she would just retreat. Another thing, about this Matt guy, he’s also paasa, pa-yummy at pa-fall. But gurl! kung nakapuno ka na ng drawer na puro sexy pairs of bra & panties & lingeries – Aba! linawin mo na kay kuya ano ba talaga?? Are we really just friends?? Val keeps buying them, just in case that sexy night/moment comes daw. First of all, bili ka ng bili, baka naman ending n’yan collector ka na at kabugin mo na ang Avon at Boardwalk sa lingerie collection mo. Pwede na i-catalogue, besh! At second, lingeries are not cheap!
Then one day, Matt introduced this girl to Val, who then later on, became his girlfriend (pero umaasa pa rin si ate Val na magiging sila pa rin sa ending) ehhhhhh Matt proposed! ayun lang…But wait, there’s more! On the night of their engagement party where Val was supposed to give a speech, she got so drunk and admitted her real feelings to Matt – in front of the 80+ elite guests & she was recorded & went viral for a while.
So think of My Best Friend’s Wedding gone very, VERY WRONG. She ran like Cinderella, but she’s the drunk & brokenhearted version. At least si Cinderella glam pa rin when she ran away from the Prince. Another thing is at least si Cinderella hinabol nung Prince.
HERE’S A THOUGHT:
Ayun kasi yun eh, kapag tumakbo ka ba hahabulin ka? Kapag hinabol ka, eh ‘di baka may pag-asa pa, beh! #bakanaman
PERO! kapag hinayaan ka lang (like what Matt did) #MoveOn na lang tayo. Bili ka ng tissue pauwi, for sure kakailanganin mo yun.
If I were Val, maybe I’ll pretend to pass out just to get out of that situation. Things got super messy from thereon & the chasing carried on the next day, at the airport. Because Val’s embarrassment, she bought a ticket without knowing where she’s headed to & got off the plane. She realised that was off to this beautiful resort island and decided to stay until things cool down in the city. Besides, she needed some space to think & be away from Matt.
Hello, HAGIBIS Boi!
In this resort, Val met Alex (our HAGIBIS Boi) in a very unfashionable way. He’s a doctor, good-looking & ripped body with a bad taste in fashion.. Gaano kasama? I thought you’d never ask. Think of a guy in a rakista outfit, ear pierced, leather jacket & very, very tight ripped jeans sa tanghaling tapat. In an island. While drinking a very colourful juice with that tiny drink umbrella. He’s beyond baduy. He is offensively baduy! Wearing a leather jacket on an island? Really? REALLY?!?
He’s beyond baduy. He is offensively baduy!
Okay, let’s cut him some slack because just like Val, he’s also a brokenhearted person and in the island to forget. Together, they decided to follow the magazine articles on how to move on after a breakup. It may sound silly, but they sure had fun & the craziness helped them to find themselves. Together, they helped each other see their worth as persons who were taken for granted. Then, later on, they realised, they are falling for each other na.
#1: Always have an ESCAPE PLAN
Don’t be drunk at your secret love’s party, unless you really plan to spill your feelings later and then spill the rest of your guts (later in the loo) and if the worse things happened gaya nung kay Val, be sure you can leave the venue like a ninja.
#2: Pag walang spark, wag na ipilit.
It’s plain & simple. Ikaw rin ang masasaktan eh. Plus!Don’t assume together with your girlfriends! Kasi minsan, ayaw ka din nila nasasaktan. Kung ikaw nga naguguluhan, sila pa kaya?
#3: Don’t do a makeover especially when you’re stoned.
#4: Do crazy shits in your life.
Kahit na hindi ka brokenhearted. It’s fun and liberating!
The story was like a mash-up of Julia Roberts’ My Best Friend’s Wedding & That Thing Called Tadhana. Jo Watson perfected the formula of a super embarrassing moments/swallow-me-earth please + romance & comedy. Matt’s character is either super dense or sadyang tanga lang siya that he didn’t figure out that he likes Val.
Alex, on the other hand, is the kind of guy who’s too goody-goody. he’s okay but not my type of leading man. INTERESTING JOB, tho! Fascinating! He’s too gentle & too gentleman for my taste. But between him and Ben White from Love to Hate You book (review here) I’ll pick Ben, anytime, any day!
- Sally, the sex doll
- The Swingers Party
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